Going Unplugged..

So I decided to detox. 

I've not switched to a juice cleanse and I haven't given up wine (though I probably should do both) but I did briefly remove some things from my life. I gave up my cell phone, my internet, my computer, my ipad... For one day I cut myself off from texting, tweeting, facebooking, emailing, messaging No emojis, no emoticons, no memes, no random thought sharing. I didn't give anyone any warning, I just woke up and shut down everything and hit the road with no plan (or google map!) in place.

By way of disclaimer, you should know that giving up google map is probably the most dangerous thing for me to give up. Well giving up food would be equally as dangerous but that would be more dangerous for others than for me once I turn “hangry”.

Truthfully I'm not even extremely addicted to my cell phone. A lot of the time I have no idea where it is and I try to never look at it when other people are around – mostly because I'm so excited to be hanging out with whoever it is I'm hanging out with that I can't imagine my phone offering anything better. I try to not form any sort of addition to any electronic device but still I notice how much it has changed and impacted my life, daily. It's hard to hide from anyone anymore and even harder to want to. The immediacy of communication and feedback our world provides truly is addictive. With a click of a button, I can make contact with anyone I love, like, tolerate or despise. I can be cheered up or cheer up others, I can ask which red shoe works best with my outfit and listen to portions of 15 songs in one minute. I know exactly how many children people I haven't seen in 20 years have had, their ages and the colour of their participation ribbons they won last week.

When I'm sad, within seconds I can have someone working hard to make me feel better.

When I stumble and fall into my garbage can it's oddly cathartic to share the incident with people online to have a group laugh over the situation.

When I don't know what to do in a given situation I can ask a dozen of my closest friends and get their feedback to make a more informed decision.

When I see a gorgeous sunset, somehow sharing it with all sorts of people make me feel like we all shared in it somehow.

When something really exciting happens, sharing it with my online world helps me celebrate, confirms that it was real.

Partly, I suspect, the over-sharing comes from living alone. Sometimes I feel like aspects of my world aren't real because no one else sees them or experiences them. It's like the tree that falls in the forest and no one is there to see it – did it really happen? Lisa fell in her tub while playing an accordion... no one was there to see it (which is a pity how hilarious that would be), did it actually happen? I worry because it is so easy to share everything in life from the oatmeal we consumed in the morning to the fact that Nickelback is always playing at Shopper's Drugmart, that is it stopping us from forming the relationships that normally would be in place for this type of sharing. Not very long ago, regular social activities were planned for the sheer reason of catching on our lives, venting about our jobs, talking about cute boys etc. Now it seems we often know everything that is going on with each other that if we do get together socially, there isn't much to talk about that hasn't already been in a text, a status update or a panicked fb message.

Social events are different now even in how we communicate. I was out for dinner with a friend last week and there was a table of people next to us. It was gorgeous outside, we were sitting on a patio and it really was the perfect June day but that seemed to go unnoticed by the folks next to us. For the entire time they were there, all four people stayed on their phones. All the way through drinks and then their dinner they were on their phones, they might as well have been eating alone in their basements. For all I know though, they were texting each other the whole time (perhaps chatting about the creepy lady sitting next to them that kept staring over at them!) Plus there are less and less reasons to go places with people or describe places or things to people because within seconds there are 20 pictures that can be perused on a phone. The art of story-telling has been replaced with the swipe of a finger. It's a bit sad.

I decided to take a brief siesta from my ”online” world just to see how the real world was doing for awhile. And although I didn't exactly have an earth-shattering day (though I did crash a wedding, flip two turtles over and had a stranger actually steal my ice cream cone), it sure did teach me some things...

The most important thing I noticed... was that I noticed. I noticed. everything. I wasn't distracted by my phone while standing in line so I noticed the woman standing behind me explaining to her children that she had just been called into work and that they needed to hurry and so I let her go ahead of me. I noticed the Scottish family that couldn't say enough good things about how beautiful the Ottawa Valley is. I noticed art on walls and music that was playing. I had no idea what was happening in my usual world but the one I was standing in sure was fascinating.

I ended up in a great conversation about why I shouldn't move to Toronto with the people at the next table while I ate some lunch. I was invited to sit with complete strangers in the park just to hear about the history of the place from locals. I found a beautiful dress at a store and chatted with the stranger standing next to me about it. I made connections with people I'll never have another interaction with again and it felt great. I committed some aspects of the day to memory, so excited to share them with people whom I would see next. It was so nice. I remembered how much I love to read, my original distraction from the world.

Like so many detoxes, the hardest parts were both missing the banished item and stopping the habits associated with the banished item. I kept thinking I was missing out on something vital. If I reached for my phone once, I reached for it thirty times, just wanting to tell someone about something that happened or see what everyone was up to. When I found myself in an uncomfortable situation that clearly required me to start small talk with someone, I reached for my phone which is my usual distraction in this situation. I was left no choice but to smile awkwardly and try to think of something witty to say (Note: don't tell your best “crazy cat lady” story to someone who has a brag book of her cat photos in her bag...)

The thing that surprised me the most about this detox was the anxiety I felt. For someone who is not “married” to her phone, I sure was worried I would miss something. I worried that something big would happen and I would miss it completely. What if someone was in trouble and now I couldn't help them? I worried someone would be angry with me because they messaged me and I didn't get back to them immediately. I worried that I would miss an exciting invitation to something. I also worried that I would turn my phone back on and no one would have been looking for me at all. The whole business is crazy making!

How the hell did this happen? 10 years ago I was the girl who was raging against the cell phone machine and couldn't imagine ever being attached to one for life. I was going to be the girl who would have a cell phone for emergencies only and otherwise I would continue to maintain my friendships with personal contact and voice to voice conversations. I was going to be the woman who knew Tom Waits' lyrics without having to Google them. I wasn't going to base any part of my personality or self-esteem on the opinions or support of people who don't actually know me anymore. That was never going to be me...

I don't have to list all the great things about cell phones, texting and social media, they are numerous and we love them! But I have to tell you, taking a break from the whole business was wonderful and enlightening and just plain rad. The world didn't end because I missed some texts, no relationships were ruined in the duration of this detox and no harm came to anyone in the making of this experiment. What did happen, however, was that I took a deep breath. I dated the world around me and it wooed me completely. I was reminded that modes of communication are just that, ways to communicate. They should never replace old-school communication and relationships.

I'm still going to text my friends to check in on them, to tell them about how I got stuck in my own shirt or how I swear I just saw so-and-so from high school. I'm about to post this on social media and will enjoy any conversation that it initiates. I'm not running around from the online world, not a chance. But I'm definitely going to go “unplugged” sometimes. If for no other reason, just to remember how much I love this crazy-ass world and the people in it.